Ups and Downs

So I've had some good news this week but I've also had bad news. Some of the bad news actually happened last week but I've held off mentioning it.

The good news, of course, started with my well-compensated day of acting. Then it was topped, out of the blue, by an even better-paid morning of modeling. If I can keep this up I'll have to admit that I'm an actor.

The bad news has been pretty sobering though. As I've mentioned previously my father was in town last week for a visit en route to Australia. While he was here he told me that his health had taken a "turn for the worse". He had a melanoma tumor on his back that was removed last summer, but not before it appears to have spread. Now a year later at 73 it's in his lungs and his liver. His doctors are treating him with Interferon to boost his immune system and try to slow the spread, but they aren't currently recommending aggressive treatment.

He's certainly active and "healthy" right now, but that will probably change in the near future. His life is divided between Perth in Australia and Regina here in Canada. I don't know how we'll handle arrangements when his health changes. In Perth he has friends and relations and a son in his twenties, in Regina he has friends and a young girlfriend. My sister and brother are in Toronto and New York.

The other bad news is that Sheryl dumped me the day my father left town. I suppose I'd seen it coming, because she has been saying for some time that she doesn't think I pay enough attention to her and I know that she wants to "enjoy life" more than I can afford to. The core issue is probably that she thinks I'm in a rut and don't want to get out of it, even in the face of supportive prompting. Probably true... We're still "friends" though, talking on the phone and meeting for lunch and we'll probably go to a gallery show tomorrow afternoon.

Kind of makes my bad weekend last summer look pretty trivial. I've tried to absorb all this, but it's been difficult in the quiet moments. I have no idea how long my father has to live or if I'll find another companion like Sheryl. The second unknown is of course considerably less tragic, but it does put the thought in my head - will there be anyone beside me when its my turn to fade away?

For now my friend Adrian has been good company, and I "have my music". Listening to music has been a big emotional outlet for me ever since the-girl-who-broke-my-heart left me back in 2001. I listen to a what I tell myself are eclectic and thoughtful tunes, but if pressed I have to admit it's actually a fairly sentimental range of alternative/rock/pop. Still, it gets me through the night...

Shortly before my father left we went out with my son Chris to see a film. Chris wanted to see Borat again but I nixed that as a poor value since we'd both seen it already. Instead we went to Casino Royale. I've long been tired of the James Bond franchise, but the press about this "realistic" and "human" resurrection of the concept got me thinking that it might appeal to our three generations. Well Casino Royale came through! Daniel Craig was a breath of fresh air as Bond, the plot was almost believable, Eva Green's "babe" was surprisingly three dimensional. The fabulous locations and action sequences were classic Bond, but for a long time they've been the proverbial baby in the bathwater. I doubt we'll see any Oscar buzz around Casino Royale, but it seems that Bond movies have become digestible again. Especially when you're trying to forget about real life for a few hours.

Listening to: My Lonely Sad Eyes by Maria McKee from You Gotta Sin To Get Saved.